She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
