Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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