I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
