she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
