The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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