the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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