I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
