lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
3pm strippers are depressing
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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