My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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