Porn is love you can see.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
