small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
