This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My cat gives me a boner
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
