Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
