my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
