When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
