I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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