Nicole vs. Life
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
