She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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