when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
