It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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