Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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