I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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