OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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