weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
