if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
