I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
