Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My vagina just clenched in fear
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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