I seem to have left my pride at pride
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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