Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
