She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
