she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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