Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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