Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
