My friends, they love my intelligence
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
