This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
our cab driver is having phone sex.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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