My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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