im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
