i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
