I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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