never play flip cup with pint glasses
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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