And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
