did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
