By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
