Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
