She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Can you bring me the toilet please
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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