She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
