Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
