Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
