This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
