I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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